> PROLOGUE: THE GOLD RUSH
The internet says writing a book is hard. The internet also says you can create "Passive Income" by letting ChatGPT write romance novels. I set a timer for 24 hours. My goal: Go from zero ideas to a published book on Amazon KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing).
> HOUR 1: THE CONCEPT
I needed a genre that sells. Romance. Specifically, "Billionaire Romance." It's the bread and butter of self-publishing.
CHATGPT:
1. The Coffee Prince
2. Latte Love
3. The Billionaire's Grind
...
10. Love Brewing at Midnight
We went with "Love Brewing at Midnight." It sounds generic enough to disappear into the void.
> HOUR 4: WRITING THE "MASTERPIECE"
I couldn't just say "Write a book." ChatGPT has a memory limit. I had to break it down chapter by chapter.
Chapter 1 Outline: Sarah spills coffee on a handsome stranger. He is angry but intrigued.
Chapter 2 Outline: Sarah loses her job. The stranger (Alex) hires her as his personal assistant.
The writing was... profound in its badness.
I generated 30,000 words. It took about 3 hours of copy-pasting. The plot had holes. In Chapter 4, Alex had a dog. In Chapter 8, he hated animals. In Chapter 12, the dog was back but was now a cat. I left the errors in. This is art.
> HOUR 8: THE COVER ART
I went to Midjourney.
The first result gave the billionaire six fingers. The second result gave him three legs. The third result was usable, although his jawline was so sharp it could cut glass.
I slapped the title on it using Canva. Done. Cost: $0.
> HOUR 12: FORMATTING HELL
Amazon KDP is picky. Margins, bleed, TOC. I used a free tool called "Kindle Create." It sanitized the AI text, removed the weird formatting, and made it look like a real book.
I priced it at $2.99.
I hit "PUBLISH."
Amazon said: "Your book is under review. This can take up to 72 hours."
> HOUR 36: THE REJECTION
I got an email. Rejection. "We found content that is freely available on the web."
Wait. Did ChatGPT plagiarize? Or is the content just so generic that Amazon's algorithms think it's spam?
I appealed. "This is an original work created with AI assistance."
Amazon replied: "Okay, but you must declare it is AI."
I checked the box: [x] This content is AI-generated.
Approved.
> SALES_REPORT_WEEK_1
| Day | Units Sold | KENP Read | Royalties |
|---|---|---|---|
| Day 1 | 1 (My Mom) | 0 | $2.00 |
| Day 2 | 0 | 15 | $0.05 |
| Day 3 | 0 | 0 | $0.00 |
| TOTAL | 1 | 15 Pages | $2.05 |
> EPILOGUE: THE GLUT
I searched for "Billionaire Romance" on Amazon. There are over 50,000 results. Thousands appear every day. The store is flooding with AI sludge.
I contributed to the pollution. Ideally, no one will read "Love Brewing at Midnight." If they do, they will find a story about a shapeshifting cat-dog and a man with eyes like spreadsheets.
Lesson: Writing is about the human soul. AI can mimic the structure of a story, but it cannot mimic the pain of being alive. That's why the book failed. That, and the fact that I put zero effort into marketing.