REDDIT_INVERSE_ETF

I open Reddit. The front page is screaming about a coin called "ElonCumRocket" (ECR). I wish I was joking. The ticker symobl is literally $CUM.

I feel the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). My hands are shaking. I open PancakeSwap. I swap $100 of BNB for $ECR.

Transaction Fee: $12.00 (Gas)

Current Portfolio: $88.00 in $ECR.

I am refreshing the chart on Poocoin. It's a vertical red line. $ECR is down 40% in 15 minutes.

I check Reddit.

I try to sell. "Error: Transfer failed." I can't sell. I have $0 worth of a coin called ElonCumRocket.

Balance: $400.00.

I am angry. I need to make the money back. I see a post about Solana ($SOL). A serious project. "Solana is pumping because of NFT mints," says u/RationalInvestor.

This seems safer. I go 10x leverage Long on Solana using an offshore exchange. This means if Solana goes up 10%, I double my money. If it goes down 10%, I lose everything.

I buy $200 worth.

Current Portfolio: $200 Cash, $2000 (Leveraged) SOL.

Solana goes up 2%. I am up $40. I am a genius. I am the Wolf of Wall Street.

Then, Bitcoin sneezes. Bitcoin drops 1%.

Solana drops 5%.

I am down $100. I hold. "Diamond Hands," I whisper.

Solana drops another 4%.

I don't add margin. Beep. Position closed.

Balance: $200.00.

I have $200 left. I'm down 60% on the day. I see a token called "SafeMars". It has "Safe" in the name. It must be safe.

I put the remaining $200 into SafeMars.

The chart goes sideways. Nothing happens. I stare at the screen for 4 hours. My eyes are dry. I haven't eaten.

I wake up to check the price.

Up 20%!

Balance: $240.

I should sell. But if I wait, maybe it goes to 100%?

I go back to sleep.

I wake up. I check the price.

Down 90%.

Apparently, while I was sleeping, the developers sold all their tokens to buy a Lamborghini.

Balance: $24.00.