The Enemy: "Hello Sir, I am calling from RBI. Your KYC is pending." Usually, I hang up. Today, I decided to play "Scambaiting Bingo." The Goal: Keep him on the line as long as possible. Act confusing, old, and tech-illiterate.

00:58:12

(Time Wasted)

> THE BINGO CARD

Says "Sir" 50 times
Asks for OTP
Gets Angry
Claims to be Manager
"Do not Hang up"
Suggests Screen Share
Fake Employee ID
Threatens Police
Hangs up himself

> PHASE 1: THE CONFUSED GRANDPA (0-15 MINS)

I adopted the persona of "Uncle Ramesh," a 75-year-old with bad hearing.

Scammer: "Sir, go to the Play Store."
Me: "Play Store? I don't want to play games. I am busy with my garden."
Scammer: "No Sir, it is an app. Look for blue triangle."
Me: "Blue triangle? Is it the Illuminati?"
Scammer: (Sighs) "No Sir. Just open your mobile menu."

> PHASE 2: THE WRONG NUMBERS (15-30 MINS)

He asked for my Card Number. I gave him fake numbers very slowly.

Me: "4... 5... 2... wait, let me get my glasses... 8... no that's a crumb... 3..."
Scammer: "Sir, please hurry up."
Me: "Don't rush me! I found another card. Is it the Library Card?"
Scammer: "No! The Bank Card!"

Scammer Patience: 60%

> PHASE 3: THE FAKE OTP (30-45 MINS)

I pretended to get the OTP. I read it out wrong 6 times.

Me: "The code is... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6."
Scammer: "Sir, that is not the code. That is counting."
Me: "Are you sure? Maybe the bank is counting on me?"
Scammer: "MAAAM! Sir give me the message code!"

Scammer Patience: Critical

> PHASE 4: THE REVEAL (THE BREAKDOWN)

At 58 minutes, he snapped.

Scammer: "YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME!"
Me: "Yes. That is the point. I know you are a scammer."
Scammer: (Silence) "... Why you do this?"
Me: "Because for 1 hour, you didn't scam anyone else."
Scammer: "Tu ******* hai." (Abusive language) -> *Click*

> CONCLUSION

It was the most productive wasted hour of my life. Every minute he spent explaining "Play Store" to me was a minute he wasn't stealing money from a real grandma. Victory.